Down the Rabbit Hole

 Happy Tuesday!  So I had a March/April blog post all written out and forgot to post it! So here's a March-May recap! How has the last three months gone for you? March ended up being a really good month. I turned 25 and had a really great birthday I got to hang out with friends, watch some new shows and am almost done with the Throne of Glass series. April and May have also been really good months for me. God's blessed me in so many amazing ways over the past three months.  I feel bad that this blog has fallen so to the wayside for me. I used to post every week and be so excited and now I just really struggle to keep this updated. I'm starting to think it might be time to let this blog post unless I somehow get renewed motivation/inspiration for it.  March-May Writing:  March was a very good writing month. I just reached 65K in Immortal Circus #3, and despite a few small hiccups, it's been flowing really well. I'm enjoying getting to draft a book after spending ...

 Happy Thursday!  At the end of February I was looking back at my wrap ups on my Instagram and on here and it almost made me start crying because of how far I've come. It made me stop and think about where I started my 20's versus where I am now. So much as changed and so much of it for the better. Just looking back at the pictures and wrap ups I've done over the past year, I feel like I'm thriving. I'm at a place I honestly didn't think I'd ever get to and maybe that was just me being dramatic or living in on and off depression for so many years, but it makes me tear up and so thankful to see how far I've come since 20.  At 20 I had a best friend I thought I would still be best friends with when I turned 25. I had him and two other friends at 20 and that was it. I don't even remember what church we were at five years ago, but it wasn't the church we're at now and I know I definitely was not thriving there. I felt so behind everyone else my a...

 Happy Wednesday!  I've been trying to think of the perfect thing to post on my Instagram to encapsulate 2022. When I look back I realized how much happened this year. I started this year in a very different place than I'm ending it. I used to think nothing ever changed or happened in the year. Before 2020, a lot of my years looked the same. And then 2020 happened, and 2021 and now 2022 which has just been packed full of life events.  I don't even know where to start than to say that God has filled this year with so many blessings and answered prayers. A part of me just wants to write out a giant list of all the good things because it feels like there's so much.  But I guess I'll start with what really was and is a true answer to prayer and what feels like a miracle to me. I started out this year really struggling with my anxiety and depression. Both felt out of control and messy. I got to the point in the summer where I just couldn't do it anymore. Something ha...

Happy Friday!  What? A post that isn't a monthly wrap or book related? It's a miracle! Maybe in the new year I'll hav more time to update this blog and actually do something with it. It's been sitting here collecting dust for most of 2022 and that makes me sad. I used to love to post on here, and I still do. I just have to find my blog rhythm again. I lost it somewhere between 2021 and 2022. Here's hoping 2023 is the year where I get it back.  I am back here today to celebrate a very special occasion: I finished college! That's right. Not just the 2022 Fall semester or the 2022 college year. Nope! I finished the entire thing. My college career. I finished my final exam yesterday on a cloudy, rainy day with a small cold that made me feel a little tired and fuzzy. I'm currently writing this post on that Thursday, a few hours after finishing that final exam. It's hard to find the right words. What do I say? Do I need to even say anything at all? I guess not...

 Happy Wednesday!  Another month has gone by without putting up weekly posts. I guess my inspiration will come back when its ready. For now, though, I don't know who cares to read another monthly wrap up, but here's how my July went!  July Writing: Writing has been a bit of a bummer this month. I think I've written myself out over the past few months. My word bank is depleted, so I've been taking a break from drafting to focus on edits instead. I edited drafts of IWWP and Immortal Circus earlier this month and am now wholly focusing on The Archive Series. I'm doing polishing and minor edits on both Scarlet Phoenix and Black Rose and once I'm done with those, I'll be jumping into the fifth and final book in the series: Indigo Star.  Other than that, I tried getting some words into two different projects this month and it was just such a struggle I decided to not force it. Both projects are too important to me to not put forth my best effort and skimp on word...

 Happy Wednesday!  How did your June go? Did you do anything fun this past month?  We are finishing out June by moving into our new house and my final class started on Monday too. Its felt a little hectic and busy, but it'll be so nice once we're all moved in. More on that later in the post. For now, here's a writing update!  June Writing: I got quite a bit done this month. Since I knew July was going to be busy I wanted to knock out as much as I could. I finished editing and formatting Heart of Xion (it's all ready to be published)! I then buckled down and worked on the rest of the Archive Series. Scarlet Phoenix is now with an alpha reader and when I went to look over Black Rose and Indigo Star, I realized how much I loved those two books. Emerald Phantom and Scarlet Phoenix were rough ones to get through, but reading Black Rose and Indigo Star reminded me of why I love the Archive series so much and how important it is and the characters are to me. I only had to d...

 Happy Wednesday!  So, I wrote this at the beginning of June and forgot to post it, so here are some random thoughts on having fun haha  I've realized in the past few months that I'm not very good at having casual fun. I'm not very good at casual in general. Everything about me tends to be drawn to the intense. I'm all in or all nothing. The dial has to be cranked to ten or it'll be at zero. There is no in-between. It's been like that for years. All my best friendships I've had since I was a kid have been intense, especially one in particular that I had throughout my teen years. It was always deep conversations and meaningful questions, the dial cranked up to the max all the time.  And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Some people crave intensity, while others love the casual. Neither of those things are bad. They're preferences and that's fine. I feel the fullest and the most satisfied when I get to hang out with a friend who I can have deep, ...

 Happy Wednesday and happy June first!  I'm writing an actual post for the first time in months! If you've been following this blog at all (first of all, thank you! I appreciate you and your dedication!) then you know that I've hit a bit of a dry spell recently. My depression has been pretty bad these past few months and while I've been flourishing at my creative writing, my blog writing hit a dead end. I know what it is. My words on here felt meaningless and pointless. I think that's the depression talking, convincing me that there's no point in me being on here even though for the past few years I've loved writing on this blog even back when only one or two people read it. In 2020 I started writing more about faith stuff on here, which was great and I hope I touched people through those posts, but over the past few months (even in 2021) I've been struggling with my faith a little. I'm in a better place now, but it was shaken at the end of 2020 and ...

 Happy Wednesday!  How did your March go? March went by slowly for me, which I'm Okay with because it actually turned out being a pretty good month. I'm so glad to get to end March on a good note. The beginning of the year started out a little shaky, but all is going better now. Also, Desert Flower is out in the world now!! I'm so thankful for everyone who shared about it and helped celebrate its release. It means so much to me!  March Writing:   Writing this month went so well! I rewrote/revised my secret WIP (at the moment I'm calling it IWWP), so now the book is much more story shaped and makes more sense than the first draft did. IWWP is another novel set in the Triadic Kingdoms and is the first in a duology! I don't know when it will be published (I have to publish Project Xion first), but I love this story so much and I think a lot of others will too.  I did a bunch of edits on Project Xion and sent it off to my alpha reader this month too! I'm not sure wh...

 Happy Wednesday!  Today is my birthday, so of course I have to do a post all about twenty-three and turning twenty-four. Honestly, I struggled a little with the thought of turning twenty-four. It feels too close to twenty-five and twenty-five just doesn't feel real. Turning twenty-four doesn't feel real either. Does this mean I'm in my mid-twenties? Because I'm not ready to be in my mid-twenties. I don't have enough of life figured out to be twenty-four haha  But just because we don't want to turn a certain age doesn't mean its not going to happen, so here we are and here I am at twenty-four. I've said this before on here, but birthdays to me feel like stepping into a new year. Turning a new age is our own personal new year days. We get a whole year of growing and changing ahead of us when we turn a new age.  I wrote this back in December when I was feeling way more contemplative and had been thinking a lot about the coming year and my birthday:  23 was...

 Happy Wednesday!  Over the past week I've been following along with what's been happening in Ukraine, as I'm sure many of us have and I found myself thinking about a phrase that's been thrown around a lot in the past two years: I'm really tired of living through major historical events.  As I was getting ready for bed one night last week, I couldn't stop thinking about that phrase and ended up writing a bit of a rant in the Notes app of my phone and I figured why not throw it up here. What has happened in the past two years has been exhausting. Its been hard and its been a lot. A "pandemic", our government overreaching and grabbing at whatever power they can by using said pandemic, injustices in many forms. There have been riots and divisiveness and government overreach. There have been broken friendships and broken families because of what's happened. And now here we are fighting over the right to decide what we do or do not put into our own bodi...