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New Year, New Mercies

Happy Wednesday! 

How was your guys’ New Years and holidays? Mine was good, I always love going into a New Year, though I think last year I was more excited for 2021 than I am for 2022. I find myself going into 2022 in a weird headspace. At the moment, I feel a little like I’m taking it one step at a time and going through the motions. I set my goals, I wrote a blog post about the things I’m looking forward to this year, I’m editing and I’ve fallen in love with a new story idea... but I still feel like I’m in a weird spot. I usually am so excited for a new year to start. Last year, even amongst all the hard I was going through during December and January, I was excited for 2021 (probably just because I was ready for 2020 to be over haha). But I'm not overly thrilled or excited for 2022. I’m kind of sad that Christmas is over. Christmas feels like it went by too quickly and I think maybe it has something to do with me knowing that next week I start some of my final college classes and I'm just not ready for the semester to start haha

I’m excited and nervous and sad and relieved that I’ll graduate from college in August. I have classes starting next week and books I want to edit, books I want to write, things I want to do. But this whole year feels spread out in front of me and like I don’t know what to do with it all. So, I’m taking it one day at a time while also reminding myself to trust that God has this whole year in hand. 

It’s a strange place to be, especially while being so excited for this new WIP I’m working on and having a book release this week (tomorrow to be exact). 

But I'm going into this new year with two verses in mind. Well, more like two small passages. One is from Lamentations. 

"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." - Lamentations 3: 19-26

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat' or 'What shall we drink' or 'What shall we wear?' For pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:31-34

I read an Instagram post the other day by this lady I follow who had a really, really rough 2021. She and her family went through so much and she was saying how she's still reeling and still processing. But her, like, tag line or whatever for the post was slumped over and hopeful. Tired and a little worn down and a little unsure of 2022, but hopeful that this year will be a good one. And there have been points in the last few days where I have felt like that. Really, I think some of it has to do with my dislike of change. Even though I'm so ready to be done with classes, I'm nervous of the big change and how my life will look different without living semester to semester. But that isn't until August and I'm having to remind myself of that a lot. 

For now, I'm praying that God will help me stay present and where my feet are right now. To not let these last two semesters of college pass me by. I want to soak up this year and not just push forward until I get to August and realize I had been so focused on graduating that I wasn't paying attention to the first half of the year. So, that's my big goal for this year. To stay focused on where I am and not get too caught up in the future. Even if I have to do it every single day, I'm giving it all over to God and letting Him handle everything day by day, week by week and month by month. 

All that to say, I do have a lot to look forward to this year and I'm trying to focus on that too. I'm excited to turn twenty-four in March. There are so many good movies I can't wait to see (mainly Morbius and Multiverse of Madness and Spiderverse Part 1). There are so many books I'm excited to read. And so many more books I'm excited to write. This time last year I was in the middle of writing book five in the Archive Series. I then spent almost the entire year struggling with writer's block, self-doubt and running through one first draft after another without being able to finish any of them. So, I am excited that I'm starting the year in a better place writing-wise. I have so many publishing/writing plans for this year that I am so excited about. 

So, yeah, for this first week of the new year, that's sort of where I am. 

What about you? How are you feeling during this first week of 2022? Do you have anything to look forward to this year?

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