2021 Wrap Up

 Happy Wednesday! 

We made it to the end of 2021! I'm kind of at a loss as to what to say about this year other than it's been one wild up and down ride and God has been so good through all of it. I've struggled a lot this year with with doubts and imposter syndrome but even through those times He's held fast to me and for that I'm thankful. At the beginning of the year I felt confused and broken and all turned around when it came to my faith, but as I've reflected back on this year, I can say I'm ending the year in a better place. I still think there's some things I can work on and pray more about, but I'm definitely in a more stable and happier place than I was in January of this year. 

As for everything else that happened in 2021, I'll leave that for the Life Stuff section of this post. For now, let's talk books! 

Top Favorite Books of 2021: 

Once Upon a Broken Heart by Stephanie Garber 

Can this book have ten stars? Because this book deserves ten stars haha I love the Caraval series very much, but I think OUABH takes the cake for best Stephanie Garber book as of yet. This book spoke to my heart in so many ways and felt like it was written just for me. It has everything I love. Jacks, beautiful themes, a protagonist that I didn't think I'd like but ended up falling in love with, vampires, epic romance and a chilly, enchanting setting. I'm dying for book 2!

The Saltwater Heir by Cassidy Clarke 

This book surprised me! I honestly read it because the cover is so gorgeous... and then ended up sticking around for literally all the rest of it. The plot, the characters, the action, the world, all of it. This book was right up my alley and I loved literally everything about it. I loved the dynamic of the Atlas family and the friendship between Elias and Soren. The only thing I will say is there is some swearing in the book if that sort of thing bothers you. It wasn't enough to make me put it down or bother me too much, but figured it would be worth mentioning. I seriously can't wait for book 2! 

Yesterday or Long Ago by Jenni Sauer 

A book of adorable, soft characters whom I love very much. I'm still waiting to me my own Tov. I've also never felt so seen before or related so much to a character as I did with Rinity. Rinity is my fictional counterpart. I am also completely in love with Amya and Gibbs and ship them so hard. 

Dearest Josephine by Caroline George 

Again, I don't usually read contemporary books, but this was hands down one of the most beautiful books I've read all year. It spoke to my heart on so many different levels and means a lot to me. I'm grateful that my best friend Keturah pushed me to read this book until I gave in cus I needed Dearest Josephine in my life. We all need Dearest Josephine in our lives so I suggest you check it out. Caroline George's writing is profound, beautiful and deeply meaningful. 

The Shadow and Bone Series by Leigh Bardugo 

For reasons I can't explain I never read this series until this year! I've heard a lot about it from bookstagram and people raving about it and everything, but just never cared enough to check it out until I saw the trailer for the Shadow and Bone TV show. Then I was like heck yeah, I need to read these books. And... I fell completely in love with them and read them all I think it was within the span of less than a month. The TV show did not disappoint either. It had to be one of the most accurate to the books TV show I've ever seen. (Siege and Storm was my favorite of the series if only because we are introduced to the treasure that is Nikolai Lantsov. 😍 Who needs Mal or the Darkling when you have Nikolai??

Little Thieves by Margaret Owen

Thanks to Jenni Sauer for raving about this book so much that I had to read it. This book was so good and I'm having a major book hangover after finishing it. The world was so cool and I loved the magic involved in the story a lot. Vanja is such a unique main character that kept me guessing the whole time. I also wasn't expecting it to be so comedic but I'm not complaining cus apparently Margaret Owens and I have the same kind of humor haha I don't know if I have the words to full express how much I enjoyed this book. It's the kind of book that inspires me to want to write a book as good as this one. Also, someone please give me more Vanja and Emeric cuz they are also OTP material. 

TV shows and movies of 202

Ok, so there were so many movies and TV shows I loved this year that it's a long list haha I didn't realize how much had come out this year until I was trying to remember everything I had watched. Some of it I was like, wait... that came out this year?? It feels like forever ago that that came out! haha 

Black Widow 

I always liked Natasha, but I honestly never really had a strong connection to her. I know for some, she was the first and only female superhero they had for years and that's amazing. But I was always just a casual fan of her. Now, I wish we had gotten to see more of her. Now I realize how underappreciated and used her character was in the movies. Black Widow was a phenomenal movie. It had me in tears for so much of the movie and moved me so much. It made be really love and appreciate Natasha's character in a way I never had before and dealt with themes that aren't often talked about or shown. Also, we got Yelena out of his movie and for that I will love Black Widow forever. Yelena is the best! 

Spider-Man: Far From Home 

Marvel was fire this year. They shook out the cobwebs and actually decided to give us interesting, unique stories instead of the stereotypical cookie cutter formula hero stories. Spider-Man No Way Home lived up to every expectation and then some! I went and saw it twice in the theater because it was just that good. Seriously, it has to be the best Spider-Man movie I've ever watched and I am so excited to see where Tom Holland's Peter Parker's next steps are in future movies. 

Jungle Cruise 

I honestly didn't expect to like this movie as much as I did. Did it remind me a whole lot of Pirates of the Caribbean? Yes, but I think that's one of the reasons I enjoyed it so much. The whole cast was great, it was surprisingly funny and I loved the treasure hunt plot. 

Eternals 

I was cautiously excited for this movie. I kept hearing good things about it, but wasn't sure if it would actually live up to the hype. Well... it did. They managed to pull of a huge Avenger's sized cast of characters without leaving a single one behind and making us know and love each one of them. It is extremely impressive and had more depth and complexity than any other Marvel movie I've ever watched. Really, though, I just want more Druig and Makkari haha 

Night Teeth 

If you've been around long enough, you know I'm a huge vampire fan, so when I saw Netflix was coming out with a new vampire movie I got very excited. This movie may not be everyone's cup of tea (even those who enjoy vampire stories), but I personally loved it. I thought it was so fun and unique and I loved the worldbuilding and all the characters were so dynamic! 

Dune 

By far the best science fiction-fantasy movie I've ever watched. I've never seen the other Dune movies and never read the books. I had no idea what I was getting into, but truly, it was so good. Everything from the cast to the plot to the worldbuilding and the music. Everything about this movie was peak science fiction. 

Loki 

I was so hyped for this movie. Loki is my favorite Marvel character, so when they announced he was getting his own show I was so excited. It had a lot of really great moments. Personally I think the first and second episode was the best. I enjoyed Sylvie a lot... but I do feel like they kind of took a lot away from Loki in certain aspects. Overall though, I thought it was so fun getting to see Loki so much and in such a different element than what he's used to. 

Hawkeye 

Personally, I think this was the best Marvel show they've made so far. I thought the pacing and writing was great, the characters felt very "in character" and I loved getting to see more of Clint. It was just a fun action filled Christmas story that also talked about grief and healing and introduced some awesome new characters. 

Wandavision 

I loved how creative and unique this show is compared to any other Marvel movie/story we've ever seen on screen. This show had such a fun and intriguing dynamic and I loved that Wanda got the spotlight and to deal with her grief in her own way. Also, it was cool watching her come into her own power and truly become the Scarlet Witch. 

Superman and Lois

I think this is the second best TV show I watched this year. To be honest, Superman always seemed overrated too me until I watched Smallville. Tom Welling's Clark Kent won me over and I am now in love with all versions of Superman. This show is the best thing that has come out of The CW since The Vampire Diaries and The 100. There was no shoving political views down people's throats, no extreme violence or swearing or sex scenes. It's a wholesome family drama that happens to be about Superman and Lois Lane. 

What If...? 

This show was so fun to watch! And I am so psyched that they're incorporating it into the MCU! That ending was so cool, but I think my favorite episodes were the zombie one and the one about Doctor Strange. I hate zombies, but that zombie episode was so intense and so brutal that I couldn't help but love it. 

Winx: Fate 

This show has a lot of potential. The first season felt a little rushed, but I am excited to see what they do with the next season and the rest of the characters. 

The Bad Batch 

I loved this show!! Not as much as Clone Wars or Rebels, but it's definitely up there. I'm a sucker for the little kid adopted by a bunch of burly, soldier guys who are secretly so soft and sweet. Some parts of the show and the climax was a little underwhelming, but I don't care, I just love being in the Star Wars Universe again and I can't wait to see what they do with season 2. 

Arcane

Ok, this show was an absolute surprise to me. I had no idea the League of Legends video game was a thing, but the minute I saw the trailer for this I knew I had to watch it. This is hands down the best TV show of the year for me. Everything about it is a complete work of art. The animation is gorgeous, the characters are so three dimensional and complex, the worldbuilding is just so cool! And the plot and writing is phenomenal. It's dark and gritty and there is swearing one scene where two characters are sleeping together, but it's seriously such a good show. Jinx (the girl in the gif) is my favorite character and I can't wait to see more of her. 

Shadow and Bone 

This is one of the most loyal book to screen adaptions I've ever seen. Scene for scene it follows the first book in the Shadow and Bone series. It was pretty much like watching the book on screen. I think they also did such a great and creative job incorporating the Six of Crows characters into the show too. I'm super excited for season two and to see who they cast for Nikolai! 

2021 Writing 

Wow... what can I say about my writing this year? It was up and down and all over the place, littered with doubts and fears. I think that just about sums it up. I finished writing the final book in The Archive Series in March after having written four books throughout the entirety of 2020. Looking back, honestly, I think I was burnt out from writing so much and I was having a book hangover, sad that I had to let go of Amaya and Darren's stories and the world I had created. 

I spent a lot of this year afraid that I would never write another good book again. That that was it. I used up all my inspiration on The Archive Series and I'd never write again. My three failed attempts throughout the year writing another book seemed to confirm that. I wrote a sci-fi fantasy adventure, half of the sequel to that book and a sci-fi Mulan retelling. All of them flopped and fell apart. Maybe one day I'll go back to them, but at the time I felt like a failure. For a lot of the year I leaned heavily into flash fiction and short stories. They were healing and took the pressure off of writing. I even got one of my flash fictions published on Havoc in March! 

I published Golden Touch in July and was so happy with how it turned out. I'm so excited to get to share this series with everyone. But I kept struggling with my writing. No full length book seemed to be going well or sticking... until October. Now I know I had to write The Runaway and my sci-fi Mulan retelling to get to Desert Flower in October. Like all my good ideas, it hit me when I was least expecting it. It's a very personal story, one I had wanted to write for years but could never find the right words... until this year. And I did. I wrote it. I think I finished it in a matter of two weeks and it has ended up being the cleanest first draft I've ever written in my life. 

Then in November for Nanowrimo I wrote a spinoff standalone set in the same world as Desert Flower and fell in love with the fantasy world I had created so much that I knew I wanted to write more spin-offs in the future. I'm so excited about the direction my writing is going and all the stories I'm going to get to tell in the coming years. 

The year started out alright writing-wise, the middle was dismal and full of fear but thankfully, 2021 has ended up with two blessings in book form. I'm so excited for the publishing plans I have for 2021. I'll talk more about that in the blog post about looking forward to the year ahead. 

Goals from January that I completed 

- I finished the Archive Series - I finished Indigo Star (the last book in the Archive Series) in March of this year! 

- I got out of my comfort zone in a big way - I did a whole lot of things that got me out of my comfort zone this year. More about that down below. 

- Stay consistent on this blog - I feel like I did pretty good staying consistent on here even when I felt uninspired and stuck. 

- Read at least 20 books - I read like 40 books this year! 

- Get my driver's license - Got my driver's license in March! 

- Publish at least one book - I published Golden Touch in July :b 

Life Stuff 

This year had about as many ups and downs as 2020 did. At the beginning of the year I had a friendship breakup with my best friend. It was heartbreaking and painful. But looking back on it... I know it was needed. It was the right thing to do. Do I wish I could have held on a little longer? Do I wish things hadn't gone down the way they did and that I could have done everything I did this year with him still in my life? Absolutely. I wish we could still be in each other's lives the way I'd thought we would be forever. But it didn't turn out that way. Instead, I had to let go to grow. I had let myself just be so comfortable in the friendship and accept that I didn't need anyone else or any other community. When I finally did let go, it made me step out of my comfort zone this year. I'm really proud of the way I swallowed my introversion and social anxiety and went to four different small groups this year. I met lots of different people and got to see lots of different ways of doing small groups. Unfortunately, I ended up learning that most church small groups aren't that great at building lasting community and relationships. That or I just was not a good fit for what they were looking for. Though really, at church you shouldn't have to be a good fit. You should just fit because we're all believers. I had so many good nights with two friends that have become super close to me. We had such a good time together at our book club group and they made my summer really special. I became even closer with who I now consider to be my best friend even though she lives in Wisconsin and I got to spend like a whole day with her in the summer going to the zoo, so that was really fun. I don't know how I would have been able to get through my friendship ending without them. God put them in my life right when I needed them the most. 

In March, I got my driver's license, something I had doubted I'd ever be able to get. I have extreme driving anxiety and driving has been a struggle for me since I started learning. Even still with having my driver's license... I prefer not to drive alone in the car. I do pretty good with someone in the passenger seat, but when I'm alone I get anxious. But, I'm celebrating the victories and having my driver's license is a victory in and of itself. 

Something else that has to do with stepping out of my comfort zone, I became a youth group leader at our church. Something I never ever would have thought myself doing. I was super nervous cus I didn't think I'd do a good job, I thought my anxiety would get in the way. And at first, I was pretty anxious, but now I've grown in confidence and have gotten a lot better at it. Now I look forward to youth group every Wednesday. I love seeing the girls in my group every week and I pray all the time that God would use me to make a difference in their lives. It's been one of the best experiences of 2021 for me. Through youth group because almost all of the youth leaders play Magic the Gathering, I also started learning how to play that. Again, something I never thought I'd do. I'm even thinking of going to our local game store's Magic nights on Friday's next year, but we'll see haha 

There have been some really tough moments this year too. For the past few years my parents have been fighting to get my brother who has high functioning autism into his own living situation where he'll have staff present to help him with things. Turns out the only way to get the waiver that we needed to be able to do that was to stick him in a group home. I plan to write a blog post about that next year because I learned a lot through him spending two weeks in a group home. They're... awful places and it made me lose some faith in humanity to know the way people with disabilities are treated. Through God's grace though He answered our prayers and Nate was able to get out of there within two weeks (normally it takes up to six weeks to a few months to remain in there to get the waiver, so it was kind of a miracle and an answer to prayer that he got the waiver and was able to get out of that situation so quickly). After lots of ups and down, God answered our prayers by finally get him into his own apartment close by with a Christian staffing company in November. 

In October, my uncle on my mom's side passed away in a freak car accident and in November, a week after seeing her at Thanksgiving, my great aunt passed away too. This month my uncle on my dad's side got Covid and got really sick and has been in the hospital for a few weeks now. And the guy my dad works with (he works as staff for a guy with disabilities) got sick with Covid too and has been in the hospital as well. All that has been very hard and sudden and unexpected. They shot curveballs at all of us and disrupted the whole family. But I know the Lord is near to the broken hearted and He is present in the hard. He answered our prayers and my uncle in the hospital is healing and getting better after being a day away from being put on a ventilator and the guy my dad works with is doing well too. So I am thankful for that. 

So, yeah, there's been a lot of really great moments and a lot of really hard ones this year. I feel like that's how every year is, though not quite as bad as this one. I was telling my mom on Christmas night as we sat around our little bonfire (we had a strangely warm Christmas this year haha) that I was thinking a lot about my friend and how this was my first Christmas not texting him or talking to him at all. It just made me sad. But I was also saying how I'm not devastated anymore like I was at the beginning of the year. I was just sad that it's over and that it had to end the way it did. And she was like, it was really hard even 6 months in, but you made it through. You've come so far and you made it through it. We all have. We got through 2020 and we got through this year even with lots of hard things happening and we made it through and I'm thankful for that. 

Here's to making it through 2021. To celebrating in the good times and pulling through the hard times. We made it to the end of the year and now we get to look forward to a new one.

What were some of your highlights of 2021? Did you have a favorite TV/movie/book of the year?