So, I gotta start by saying... I passed my driving skills test last Thursday!! I officially have my driver's license! It's been a long time coming. I got to a point a while ago where I just thought I'll never be able to get it. I'll never get my license.
I'll never feel comfortable driving a car. But here I am. I'm still not 100% comfortable behind the wheel, but I'm getting there. It's made me realize that sometimes all we can do is work at our own pace. Even if it's the pace of a snail. When we get to that end result it's sweeter than if we had gotten what we wanted right when we wanted it. I'm so thankful to God for getting me this far and for being with me every step of the way. I really don't think I would have gotten to where I am with driving and passed without Him.
Anyways... with that said... I don't really know what to write this week. It's Tuesday, literally the day before Wednesday and I'm just now sitting down to figure out what to write. Of course, I had to sit down and try to write a blog post right when I'm feeling the least motivated and the least inspired. I'm just tired I think. Mentally and emotionally. Last week was good, but it felt super busy for me. The weekend was good and I'm glad I got to celebrate Easter with family this year, but it also felt super busy. I woke up Monday morning and wanted to lay in bed all day and watch shows and read a book and not do anything. Unfortunately... I have homework, so I can't really do that all day. But I have been slacking off on a lot this week. Or at least it feels like I have. I haven't posted on Instagram since Sunday, I'm sitting down to write a post the day before it's due. I've been doing the bear minimum of classwork every day. I haven't started editing/revising Golden Touch yet, though I do have an excuse for that. One of my beta readers said she's getting me her notes and stuff next week, so that's my little loophole for not working on edits. And honestly, I'm not too worried about any of it. I'm not worried about posting on Instagram or waiting until the day before Wednesday to write a blog post. I'm not worried about waiting for my final beta reader feedback to start digging into Golden Touch. I say that because I usually am very worried about all those things haha
It's important to take breaks. I like to overwork myself. I push myself and force myself to do things even when I'm not ready or don't want to. I'm an overachiever and if I set myself a goal I always expect myself to exceed that goal. Breaks and off days aren't allowed and when they do happen, it's frustrating and depressing and throws me off. Sometimes we do need a break. Sometimes we just need to cut ourselves some slack. Last week was exhausting. I was an anxious mess all week leading up to the driving test and that morning? My anxiety was through the roof. And even after I passed my anxiety didn't give me a break. I enjoyed hanging out with friends and seeing family on the weekend, but it can also be pretty tiring especially coming off a week full of tension and anxiety, plus realizing I had an annotated bibliography due on Sunday that I hadn't even started yet, so I had to hurry and get it done on Friday before we left to visit family on Saturday. Not to mention, I was worried about my writing and hadn't written anything good and exciting in two weeks. Not writing and not having anything I love to write throws me off my game too.
All that to say, it was an exhausting week. We all have those weeks sometimes. The weeks that are just rough and tiring and not what we expected.
And guess what? After weeks like those... it's Ok to take a break! It's Ok to not care! Our minds and bodies and emotions need time to heal and recover. Especially after a high anxiety week or day. Anxiety isn't just racing thoughts, it effects your entire body negatively and can be really detrimental to your health. So, it's important to let yourself rest.
In our society, rest and taking breaks isn't Ok. We're expected to keep moving, keep hustling and bustling until we drop dead. We'll sleep when we're dead is the saying and I think a lot of people feel that way whether it's consciously or not. It's especially not Ok for creatives and writers and people who are selling things or wanting to building a brand or business. There's this fear that if we take a break from social media and take a break from the hustling, everything we've worked so hard at will crumble and fall apart. But that's not true. All those followers will still be there after a break. Everything you've worked toward won't fall apart if you take a day off. You're writing will still be there if you take a week or a day off.
It's not weak or wrong to take a break and not worry about things falling apart or catching up to you. I'm still doing my homework and getting things done. If anything, not worrying or caring about social media and things like that has allowed me to rest this week and enjoy the warm weather. It's been so beautiful out and I'm soaking it up after a rough winter.
For the writers out there, I was watching this one author's stories and she was talking about how she unintentionally took a month break from writing because their home was going through major renovations. She said how it refreshed her and when she got back to her computer she felt excited and energized in a project that would have fallen flat otherwise. But she also said she read a lot during that month long break and that kept the writing side of her brain active and occupied. She was refilling her creative well.
We need that. We can't go, go, go and write, write, write until we drop. Eventually we're going to hit a wall and burn out. Take time to refill your creative well. Take time to just breathe and rest and recover and heal.
I mean I just finished writing the fifth book in a series that took me all of last year in February. Last year I wrote almost an entire series, plus the third book in a series and a novella. It's no wonder my brain stopped working for a hot minute after finishing book 5. It needed a major break and I needed to refill my creative well. I honestly think it's because of me letting go of a few things this week that I've reconnected with my writing and am falling in love with a new story. Plus, I had prayed and asked God for guidance and direction in my writing at the start of the week and He never fails me. He always shows up when I need Him and I honestly believe He showed up and breathed new life into my writing this week.
Take time to read some good books, watch some inspiring TV shows, go for walks and soak up the sunlight, listen to some amazing music, write some flash fiction or short stories. Flash fiction really helped get me through January and March. It's honestly really refreshing and a great exercise, for me anyways, to write some flash fiction and short stories.
So, yeah, sorry for how all over the place this post is haha But if you get one thing out of reading it, take this: refill your creative well and take breaks! It's perfectly Ok! The world will not end if you take a break or step away from posting or even writing for a time.