Chronicles and Promises

Happy Wednesday! 

February was a bit of a rough month. I think it was just a combination of seasonal depression and the fact that we had an emotionally exhausting 2020 and the past three months for me have been a whirlwind of even more emotional struggle. I also had something happen that shook my faith a little and made me question a lot of things. 

All that created a perfect storm of doubt and fear. On the last Monday of February I was writing in my prayer journal after having read one of Hannah Brencher’s well timed Monday Club letters about depression and joy and the harvest coming out of a time of mourning and weeping taken from a verse in Psalm 126. And maybe it was just the depression talking, but I sat back and thought God will bring the harvest to everyone else but He won’t bring it to me. I thought, I can’t remember if I’d ever gotten a harvest season. A good season where God’s timing showed through and all the hard things I went through has lined up and made sense and fallen into place to create something good. I guess in one regard maybe I’m due for one then haha 

But then that line of thinking, of searching the past for even one good thing God has done made me realize (again with the lens of depression) that I don’t think I’ve ever had a harvest season and I can’t remember the last good thing that happened. The last big God thing... It made me think about 1 and 2 Chronicles. I never would have thought I'd say that 2 Chronicles is one of my favorite books of the Bible, but here I am saying it haha 1 and 2 Chronicles were written for the Israelites as a sort of roadmap. They chronicle all the things God has done for them and were meant to be encouraging to the Israelites. One giant reminder of how good and gracious and just their God is and that He got them this far and He will get them even further if they just put their trust in Him. The Israelites were in exile and in a very dark place and the Chronicler wrote this to give them light in that darkness. To remind them of the hope and courage they can find in the Lord. 

I loved reading them, especially 2 Chronicles. Just the way the Chronicler was called by God to use his writing to remind them of where they’ve been and how God will get them through this. But it got me thinking of how important it is to have a roadmap for ourselves. To have a chronicle of our own. Because when things get dark and depression sets in or everything feels heavy and like God isn't even there... that is when we need to look back and remember how good God has been to us before and that He is the same God and He will get us the rest of the way through this. He is the same God who time and time again saved the Israelites. Who time and time again was patient and merciful with them. Who walked them through the wilderness, who saved them from Egypt. The Exodus story is told again ask again throughout the old (and New Testament), a constant reminder of what God did for the Israelites during one of their most darkest periods of their history. 

He’s the same God. I know that with my head and I know with my head that every good and perfect thing comes from Him, that He will provide and that I can put my trust in Him... but I think I was struggling in February to know that with my heart. 

And that’s when you need to constantly remind yourself of the scriptures and the promises God made. That’s when you have to look back on the chronicles of your own life and remember all the moments with God, all the things He's done and then apply them to right now because He is an unchanging, unwavering God. 

I don’t know if anyone else is struggling with depression or struggling to know with their heart that God really will keep fighting for you but if you are here are a few things that I think might help: 

1) Read scripture and find the many promises of God. Get to know His character (I recommend the Old Testament for that). Hold onto them even if they feel hollow on certain days 

2) Make a list of all the ways God has shown up and used you in the past, has blessed you in the past. Chronicle your own life as a reminder to yourself of how good God has been and will continue to be.