So this week was the week!! I turned in my last paper for my library science class on Monday and took my final exam for my math class on Tuesday. Technically the semester will officially be over on Saturday, but I have nothing else to do. No homework, no quizzes, no papers. Nothing. And it's a pretty awesome feeling.
I've been having mixed emotions about the fact that my final semester is over. I'm very goal oriented, I like to be always working toward something and accomplishing something and with college and classes, I was doing that. I've been working toward this week for four years. And now that it's over, I have some plans but nothing definite. I do like having definite plans too... I like knowing what to expect and what I'm going to be doing a month or two or even three from now and right now... I don't have that. It's a little daunting and this new season of life will definitely be an adjustment.
This feels like a big shift in my life. A big change and right now I'm trying get used to it and wrap my head around what I want to do next. I know I should be taking this time to chill and relax, and I am, but I also like having a plan and I think having an idea of what I want to do next would be really helpful to me. There are a lot of different routes I could take and being someone who doesn't like making big or small decisions, it's a little overwhelming. My writing more than anything else right now has been effected big time.
Now that I think about it, I felt sort of unsteady and distant from my writing my first started college. It was a big shift and change in seasons of my life and because of that I had to adjust my writing accordingly. I know there are some writers who just write the same genre, the same age group all their lives. Honestly, I wish I could do that. But I've realized with each passing year that my writing seems to grow and shift with me and my life and even my age. I have a hard time writing middle grade characters and even teen characters now. I know if I can do it, I love the YA genre and I want to continue to write in it, but now I'm increasingly drawn toward college age characters. My characters seem to enjoy following me through my many seasons of life and so, right now, I'm relearning to love my writing and relearning what genre and age group I want to write for.
Anyways, that's what is troubling me the most but I know 2019 will be a year of trying and doing new things.
I want to get my driver's licence this year, get my first real job and query agents for the first time to try and get my manuscript traditionally published. I'm excited for all those things but also kind of nervous. I don't know how I'm going to do without classes. The truth is, despite how hard some of them were and how anxious some of them made me feel, I find that I fall into a depression and my anxiety gets worse when I have no classes. It's like my brain needs something to always keep it busy and having homework and a constant checklist every week, did that for me. So now I'm going to have to keep myself busy all by myself without any outside help from classes.
For now though, it's December and Christmas time and I want to take time to chill and be present and just enjoy the Christmas/winter season. So for this month, I'm going to try and not think about the year ahead and what I want to do or what I'm not going to be doing. I'm going to focus on the here and now and refilling my well of inspiration because I'm sorely lacking in passion and motivation to write. And then when January hits, I'll make plans and figure stuff out.
Some people graduate college knowing what profession they want to be in. They've been working toward a degree in that field for years and once they graduate they go in search of finding a job in that career. Me...? I have a General Liberal Arts Associates degree. Which is one more degree I had before I started college, but it's general. I don't know what I'm going to do next year, I don't know what 2019 is going to look like for me and I'm trying to tell myself that's Ok. It's Ok to not have any set plans. It's Ok to figure it out as I go. Because of that reason, the fact that I'm not sure what I'm going to do or where this coming year is going to go, I'm putting it all in God's hands. I'm trusting Him to open and close the doors He sees fit and to lead me in what direction He wants me to go. For some people it might be hard to hand over the reigns of control, to give him an uncertain future, but for me who does not like making big or small decisions, giving up that kind of control to Him is a relief. I know He has my best interests at heart. He knows me better than I know myself and He has bigger plans for me than I could ever have for myself.
So, yeah, those are my thoughts on my graduation, on finishing four years of college. I wrote half of this post a few days ago and it was a complete mess cuz I didn't know how I felt. But between a few days ago and today, something clicked and I guess I sorted out my feelings.
I'm not sure if I have anything else to say about it other than, I have my Associates now and I'm not sure what 2019 is going to look like but I have a lot I want to do and a lot to think about about how I want to move forward.
And I guess more for my sake than anyone else's (since this is my blog after all), I thought I'd share some of the best and most exciting things that have happened to me over the past four years. There have been many hard parts, but a lot of really good moments too.
Writing-wise, I've written more than 12 manuscripts in the past four years and have published three of those books and one short story collection. I've been to two concerts (I can't remember if there was another one, but I'm thinking these were the only two) Colton Dixon and Skillet (both of which were awesome)! We went to Disney as a family for the second time in 2017! We went to Gatlinburg for the first time 2016! I went to my very first Comic Con in 2017 too! (That was a blast and I can't wait to go to the one in 2019)! I read countless books in those four years (I can't remember or name them all) and started a new church. I've met tons of new friends and acquaintances and had friendships that have lasted all four years and will continue to last for a long time to come. Just this year I discovered the awesomeness of Wattpad and how much I enjoy sharing my stories on there. And now, I can officially add that I've taken tons of classes and have my Associates degree.
It's been four years of ups and downs, fun times and not so fun times. But through all of it, it's been four years of growth. I've changed so much in those four years and I'm excited to see what will happen in 2019.
Also! As a complete side note, the first three chapters of Hunter's Heritage are up on Wattpad now, so you should definitely check them out and let me know what you think!!
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| I will always love this gif of Caroline |
This feels like a big shift in my life. A big change and right now I'm trying get used to it and wrap my head around what I want to do next. I know I should be taking this time to chill and relax, and I am, but I also like having a plan and I think having an idea of what I want to do next would be really helpful to me. There are a lot of different routes I could take and being someone who doesn't like making big or small decisions, it's a little overwhelming. My writing more than anything else right now has been effected big time.
Anyways, that's what is troubling me the most but I know 2019 will be a year of trying and doing new things.
For now though, it's December and Christmas time and I want to take time to chill and be present and just enjoy the Christmas/winter season. So for this month, I'm going to try and not think about the year ahead and what I want to do or what I'm not going to be doing. I'm going to focus on the here and now and refilling my well of inspiration because I'm sorely lacking in passion and motivation to write. And then when January hits, I'll make plans and figure stuff out.
Some people graduate college knowing what profession they want to be in. They've been working toward a degree in that field for years and once they graduate they go in search of finding a job in that career. Me...? I have a General Liberal Arts Associates degree. Which is one more degree I had before I started college, but it's general. I don't know what I'm going to do next year, I don't know what 2019 is going to look like for me and I'm trying to tell myself that's Ok. It's Ok to not have any set plans. It's Ok to figure it out as I go. Because of that reason, the fact that I'm not sure what I'm going to do or where this coming year is going to go, I'm putting it all in God's hands. I'm trusting Him to open and close the doors He sees fit and to lead me in what direction He wants me to go. For some people it might be hard to hand over the reigns of control, to give him an uncertain future, but for me who does not like making big or small decisions, giving up that kind of control to Him is a relief. I know He has my best interests at heart. He knows me better than I know myself and He has bigger plans for me than I could ever have for myself.
So, yeah, those are my thoughts on my graduation, on finishing four years of college. I wrote half of this post a few days ago and it was a complete mess cuz I didn't know how I felt. But between a few days ago and today, something clicked and I guess I sorted out my feelings.
I'm not sure if I have anything else to say about it other than, I have my Associates now and I'm not sure what 2019 is going to look like but I have a lot I want to do and a lot to think about about how I want to move forward.
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| I couldn't help it. I had to put this in here |
And I guess more for my sake than anyone else's (since this is my blog after all), I thought I'd share some of the best and most exciting things that have happened to me over the past four years. There have been many hard parts, but a lot of really good moments too.
Writing-wise, I've written more than 12 manuscripts in the past four years and have published three of those books and one short story collection. I've been to two concerts (I can't remember if there was another one, but I'm thinking these were the only two) Colton Dixon and Skillet (both of which were awesome)! We went to Disney as a family for the second time in 2017! We went to Gatlinburg for the first time 2016! I went to my very first Comic Con in 2017 too! (That was a blast and I can't wait to go to the one in 2019)! I read countless books in those four years (I can't remember or name them all) and started a new church. I've met tons of new friends and acquaintances and had friendships that have lasted all four years and will continue to last for a long time to come. Just this year I discovered the awesomeness of Wattpad and how much I enjoy sharing my stories on there. And now, I can officially add that I've taken tons of classes and have my Associates degree.
It's been four years of ups and downs, fun times and not so fun times. But through all of it, it's been four years of growth. I've changed so much in those four years and I'm excited to see what will happen in 2019.
Also! As a complete side note, the first three chapters of Hunter's Heritage are up on Wattpad now, so you should definitely check them out and let me know what you think!!
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