I'll admit it: I'm an inconsistent writer. Yes I write every day but usually I fall out of love with a story near the middle. I know a lot of writers do and they still push through the middle but the thing is I've written five or six books now. Full books. One of which is published. And with all of those six books they flowed. They flowed from beginning to middle with little issue. That's magic. That's the best feeling ever and I think well if I can do that with six or seven of these books, if they clicked so well and kept my attention for so long then maybe this idea that isn't working isn't the right one for me. Because if I can get so excited about these other characters and other books and ideas and spend so long on them and still loving them to this day but I don't feel that way about this book then what's the point? Yeah I still love those characters and one day I will -- not maybe but will definitely -- come back to them but it just isn't clicking right now. I can't say I'm Ok with that idea because I'm not and in these moments when writing becomes a chore and I'm not sure about a certain story and I get tired just thinking of sitting down and writing it I realize how thankful I am to have such an encouraging, helpful mom.
Right now I'm almost at a hundred pages... 30,000 words of this book I'm working on. Writing the beginning of Story and Remiel's story was falling back in love with writing but the middle has become so muddy and so predictable and just blah that I don't know if I can finish it. I told my mom that what if I don't finish it, what if I really love these characters and just invested so much time writing these almost hundred pages and it amounts to nothing and I never come back to the story again. She said then that's Ok. It's not a waste because you just spent all that time getting better at writing. Like practice. And she's right. It makes me feel a little better-- not a ton -- but she is right. There's just so much pressure on us writers to FINISH THE BOOK! Every writer out there says even if it gets hard and you don't want to finish the book still FINISH IT. But I've finished at least seven books that I can count and just about a billion short stories. I'm not a baby writer anymore. I don't have to be pushed to finish a book. I just have to have an idea that is worth seeing to the end. I have to have a idea that I will never fall out of love with. The characters may be frustrating and the plot may be murky but I never once thought of quitting on the story. Like with Delphi and her story in Weapon Icean. Not a lot of people have read the book and publishing is quite a learning curb but I never once told myself that I wouldn't finish her story. I love her and I love all the other characters and the world I created too much to give up on her. I'm too invested as a writer and I hope that when people read that book they'll see my love and excitement for these characters and will feel the same way. If I think about it there are several other characters from previous books I've written that I want to and will go back to in the future. Characters that want more story to be told, characters that want to be published and read about.
Maybe "quitting" not even a hundred pages in makes me a bad writer but I feel like I have enough things to stress about. Writing is my sanctuary, my happy place and if I'm not happy writing then what's the point? And those goes for the rest of you writers. If you don't love writing, if that story doesn't make you happy and is stressing you out then just don't write it. Find characters and a story that will thrill you, that makes you passionate and exciting. This isn't quitting. This is doing what you love. Especially if your not published. No one is telling you when to write and no one is giving you deadlines. Enjoy yourself. That's why I don't know if I could ever handle being traditionally published. Maybe a few years in the future but right now I like having free reign with my writing. I like just telling a story and seeing where it takes me. I like not having pressure on me to write.
I am so thankful that I have such encouraging parents and friends who encourage me to keep going strong with a story but also say that if it's not working then just give it a break. Don't forget about those characters and the story. Don't throw them away but just... give them a break and if they're worth your time and your commitment they'll come back to you. They'll always come back to you.
This post is more of me talking to me and telling myself that its ok to take a break from a story and work on something else. I hope it encourages you and others as I sort of just splatter my thoughts on the page to figure out my own brain. I still don't know exactly what I'm going to do with this particular story but I think I'll make a decision later (maybe once I'm not stressing about final papers and final tests and final everything in classes).
Thanks for listening to my rambling thoughts and I hope there's some good advice buried in here somewhere that encourages you. Have a great week!
Right now I'm almost at a hundred pages... 30,000 words of this book I'm working on. Writing the beginning of Story and Remiel's story was falling back in love with writing but the middle has become so muddy and so predictable and just blah that I don't know if I can finish it. I told my mom that what if I don't finish it, what if I really love these characters and just invested so much time writing these almost hundred pages and it amounts to nothing and I never come back to the story again. She said then that's Ok. It's not a waste because you just spent all that time getting better at writing. Like practice. And she's right. It makes me feel a little better-- not a ton -- but she is right. There's just so much pressure on us writers to FINISH THE BOOK! Every writer out there says even if it gets hard and you don't want to finish the book still FINISH IT. But I've finished at least seven books that I can count and just about a billion short stories. I'm not a baby writer anymore. I don't have to be pushed to finish a book. I just have to have an idea that is worth seeing to the end. I have to have a idea that I will never fall out of love with. The characters may be frustrating and the plot may be murky but I never once thought of quitting on the story. Like with Delphi and her story in Weapon Icean. Not a lot of people have read the book and publishing is quite a learning curb but I never once told myself that I wouldn't finish her story. I love her and I love all the other characters and the world I created too much to give up on her. I'm too invested as a writer and I hope that when people read that book they'll see my love and excitement for these characters and will feel the same way. If I think about it there are several other characters from previous books I've written that I want to and will go back to in the future. Characters that want more story to be told, characters that want to be published and read about.
Maybe "quitting" not even a hundred pages in makes me a bad writer but I feel like I have enough things to stress about. Writing is my sanctuary, my happy place and if I'm not happy writing then what's the point? And those goes for the rest of you writers. If you don't love writing, if that story doesn't make you happy and is stressing you out then just don't write it. Find characters and a story that will thrill you, that makes you passionate and exciting. This isn't quitting. This is doing what you love. Especially if your not published. No one is telling you when to write and no one is giving you deadlines. Enjoy yourself. That's why I don't know if I could ever handle being traditionally published. Maybe a few years in the future but right now I like having free reign with my writing. I like just telling a story and seeing where it takes me. I like not having pressure on me to write.
I am so thankful that I have such encouraging parents and friends who encourage me to keep going strong with a story but also say that if it's not working then just give it a break. Don't forget about those characters and the story. Don't throw them away but just... give them a break and if they're worth your time and your commitment they'll come back to you. They'll always come back to you.
This post is more of me talking to me and telling myself that its ok to take a break from a story and work on something else. I hope it encourages you and others as I sort of just splatter my thoughts on the page to figure out my own brain. I still don't know exactly what I'm going to do with this particular story but I think I'll make a decision later (
Thanks for listening to my rambling thoughts and I hope there's some good advice buried in here somewhere that encourages you. Have a great week!
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